January is gone.  2020 came so fast and this month has evaporated faster than most I can remember in my life.  I'm glad for it though.  The speed of time is just a reminder that life is short and there's much to appreciate in this quick stay.  I try to make the most of it.  All of it.  Even the things that hurt.  We're supposed to sit in those moments and find a sunset, a blade of grass, feel the earth moving at 1700 mph and just marvel at the miracle our world really is.  We're supposed to realize that death is part of life.  Everything works in perfect harmony to keep us alive, not just living but ALIVE, so we can laugh, cry, suffer and love each other.  It's profound and overwhelming.

So days disappearing don't bother me much.  It's all part of the plan.  Those lazy summers when I was 11 years old, that used to last forever were so sweet and warm.  I would ride my bike in circles around the neighborhood and at night all of us kids would come outside after dinner and play hide and seek together around the block.  If you got caught it was "One, two, three on Adele!"  There was a safe spot and if you could get to it fast enough you were "safe".  It was usually a tree that was the safe spot and all you had to do was touch it.

I can't always get to that tree.  I hear those words from time to time, "One, two three on Adele!!"  I don't always feel safe.  Especially now that I realize how fragile the world I live in is.  That life is precious and can be taken away in a heartbeat.  Loss can shape shift your world completely.  Life can still be good after a major loss.  It can still be enough.  Sometimes when I feel vulnerable I put my arms around that tree.  That safe spot.  I've clung to it and held on for dear life sometimes but this month I felt myself loosening my grip on it.  Leaning back and gazing around my world.  There's a forest of trees, an ocean of fish and a sky full of sunshine.  The heat of the summer is still there.  It's not a lazy summer anymore it's more like a flash that warms my soul and I've got to be paying attention to feel it.

"Come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned."

Okay Peter Pan.  Lets go.