Kayan in a coffee cup

This weekend we're taking pictures of Killian, Dean and Jaxx.  I got shirts for them with their names on them and Jessie Newman is coming over to do some grandson pictures for me.  I KNOW you would have done Kayan in a coffee cup.  Two things you can't live without.  Your baby and coffee, hahaha.  You loved owls too, and I know this would have been something you'd have done.  You were such a talented photographer.  I could hardly wait to see the things you'd do with your talent.  Maybe baby photography would have been your passion after you'd become a mom.

I'd like to think you'd have found your "thing" you loved after that.  There were so many roads to choose.  So many possibilities.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things there still is.  I sometimes wonder if you've found what it is you wanted to do with forever.  I'd give anything to know what you're thinking now.  How you live.  Where you live.  What it's like there.  I'll know once I'm done with this mortal life.  I still have some things to do here.  I do feel needed and loved by my family and I suppose until I'm more needed somewhere else I'll be here getting through the days.

Oh but I would have loved to have seen Kayan in all the outfits you would have dressed him in.  The pictures that would have covered my walls that you would have taken of him.  Every smile captured in epic poses.  Too cute for words little baby boy.  I would have loved his smile, his first tooth, his baby voice.  His arms around my neck and his head on my shoulder.  I'd have sung lullabies to him.  Rocked him to sleep and watched him dreaming.  So beautiful.  You and Adrian together in one amazing little boy.

Send me a picture.  Just one.  

Mom