The life long battle, Heart VS Head

For most of my life I didn't know it even existed.  The fight.  Whenever I would decide on a course of action I just went with it until I realized lately that it's never that simple.  Either your head is calling the shots or your  heart is.  Never both.  I've come to the conclusion that my Benedict Arnold heart cannot be trusted.  It makes no sense in what it wants and is very much like a two year old in what it demands.  Throws a fit when it doesn't get it's way and is only satisfied when it's got the object of it's desire.  Regardless of the fall out.  My head leans against the wall, arms crossed, shaking it's head back and forth as if to say, "Here we go again, listening to that one are we?"  It's logic and reason, and oh how I love logic and reason, but I also love the exquisite joy of getting what I want in the moment.  I see it all the time on my two year old grandson's face whenever he gets what he's crying for.  Whether it's a pacifier (we're trying to hide from him at his age) or a special something to eat, it's a smile that crosses his face that means total bliss.   As if to say "You're not getting this piece of plastic I suck on, in fact, I'll take two if you don't mind."

I did put it in my mouth a few days ago and sucked on it thinking it must be something amazing, had to know what the fuss was all about and I didn't get it.  He just smiled at me and grabbed it back, happily toddling off thinking grandma was silly.  But there you have it.

The heart.  All my life I've wanted things I shouldn't want.  Gone after things I should have left alone and insisted on even relationships that weren't right for me.  All the while my head was watching quietly, sometimes with that wise smile that said "This is going to hurt."  And it did.  So where does that leave me?  I recently made friends with my head.  That smart, savvy, weigh the options, see the road signs, head that knows when to say "NO."  My Sagittarius flirty nature wants to dance on hot coals but my head, that also loves just as much adventure, wants to plan.  So I'm going to finally let it.  I'm only, what?, 60 years old?  It's about time.  I'm not saying I didn't make good decisions in my life.  On the contrary I've made some great ones.  I've also made some real boners.  

Pick your side people.  Where will your loyalty lie?  I just changed sides and I can't wait to see how things change.  

Adele